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Section
11
Cultural Values and Self-Harm
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In
the last section, we discussed various arguments that clients use to persuade themselves
that they do not have a problem with self-mutilation. These included arguments
regarding personal events, necessary emotional cleansing, and communication. We
also included ways to address these arguments of the exploration of ramifications,
analogies, and the "Comfortable Presence" exercise
In
this section, we will examine the ways in which cultural pressures have a direct
effect on the adolescent self-injurer: the idea that pain is achievement;
and the "tough guy" stereotype.
2 Ways Cultural Pressures Have a Direct
Effect on Adolescent Self-Injurers
♦ # 1 - 'No Pain, No Gain'
As you know, society
places a large emphasis on hard work to reach success. However, hard work is soon
associated with pain, resulting in the common saying, "No pain, no gain."
Twelve year old Melissa, a gymnast, was used to pushing herself in all her routines.
Her musculature was soon overdeveloped for a child of her age.
Her parents were
notified that Melissa was in the eighth percentile for girls of her age. Her parents
became concerned and wanted to lessen her involvement with gymnastics. Very soon,
Melissa's parents began noticing scratches on her arms that they determined could
only have been made by Melissa herself.
When Melissa was referred to me, I found
that Melissa had become confused in her notion that pushing herself physically
was the same as inflicting another kind of pain on herself. "My coach told
me that if I ache, I tried hard enough. If I'm not hurting, I'm not working hard
enough." The motto that her coach had instilled in her, that of "No
pain no gain," had been taken literally. Her scratches gave her a feeling
of achievement. Luckily, the behavior was discovered early and could be dealt
with before it became a dangerous problem for her later in life.
♦ Technique: "Nurturing" Exercise
During
a session Melissa said she had trouble nurturing herself because she felt she
was reversing her training. To try and separate Melissa from her philosophy of
pain, I used the "Nurturing" exercise. The purpose of this exercise
is to develop self-soothing behavior which diverted Melissa from self-injury and
promoted self-esteem. I asked Melissa to make a list of ways to nurture herself
in the future.
Melissa's list of ways to nurture herself in the future:
1. Bubble bath
2. Music
3. Sing
4. Play with friends not from gymnastics
5. Talk to friends
6. Play with my
dog
7. Play video games
8. Watch my favorite movie
9. Take a nap
10. Go shopping with my mom
In nurturing herself, Melissa was beginning to realize
that she felt more confident and more comfortable being pain free and less anxious
over whether or not she was improving her athletic abilities.
♦ # 2 - The 'Tough Guy' Stereotype
Another
type of culturally induced self-mutilation is typically found in males and is
rooted in what is known as the tough guy stereotype. This occurs in boys
who have been taught since an early age that "whining" and expressing
emotion other than anger is a sign of weakness. Eighteen year old Sam was found
kicking out windows in the athletic room of his high school. Sam was the star
quarterback but was going to have to give up his athletic career in college due
to knee injuries. His behavior was striking to his coaches who told him to try
and seek help.
While in sessions, I found that Sam's behavior did not stem from anger mismanagement, but from incapacity to express the pressures of his life.
Sam stated, "Next year, I'm going to be nothing without football. I could
come back here and relive who I used to be. But it's really over for me. High
school was a setup. I couldn't get higher grades if I wanted to. I'm one of the
biggest, strongest, but definitely not the smartest."
He said that when he
cut himself by kicking in the windows, it made him feel like he was strong and
could take whatever pain came his way. Sam told me how his father would constantly
point out heroes in movies and say, "You've got to bite the bullet. That's
a real man, a hero. No whimpering and whining when he gets hurt!" The philosophy
of "the tough guy" was so ingrained into Sam's conscious that he felt
he couldn't deal with problems in any other way that would not make him appear
weak.
♦ Technique: "Being a Man" Exercise
Negative thoughts about gender and gender identity can
contribute to self-hatred and self-destruction. For Sam, not allowing himself
to express his inner emotions led to a destructive path. To help Sam gain a different
perspective of himself as a male, and to derail the notion of being a hero from
his mind, I found the "Being a Man" exercise helpful.
I asked Sam to
answer the following questions:
1.
What thoughts and
feelings do I have about being a man? Include thoughts and feelings about body
size as well as psychological attributes.
2. What ideas of manhood do
I find discouraging or hard to appreciate?
3. What ideals of manhood
do I find unappreciated? Which do I find positive and rewarding?
Sam
stated, "I feel like I need to have a presence wherever I am. I think guys
should be well-built and muscular and I don't think guys need to talk to other
guys about their problems. That's what girls do. I never bought into the sensitive
guy thing. The guys that said they were sensitive were only trying to impress
a girl. I think that in this day, people don't appreciate how much strength a
guy has. I like feeling like I can protect somebody, like my girlfriend. I find
the opportunity to be in a protective role rewarding."
By
stating these thoughts, Sam was able to analyze and break down the negative preconceptions
or myths he had about his gender, which was the first step in replacing them with
more helpful models.
In this section, we discussed the ways in
which cultural pressures have a direct effect on the adolescent self-injurer:
the idea that pain is achievement; and the "tough guy" stereotype
In
the next section, we will examine four aspects of a self-mutilator's ability to
form a relationship which includes: a lack of a workable medium of relationship;
the factor of low self-esteem; keeping friends at a distance; and the result of
shame of past abuse.
Reviewed 2023
Peer-Reviewed Journal Article References:
Bhugra, D. (2013). Cultural values and self-harm [Editorial]. Crisis: The Journal of Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention, 34(4), 221–222.
Nielsen, E., & Townsend, E. (2018). Public perceptions of self-harm—A test of an attribution model of public discrimination. Stigma and Health, 3(3), 204–218.
Sansone, R. A., Sellbom, M., & Songer, D. A. (2018). Borderline personality disorder and mental health care utilization: The role of self-harm. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 9(2), 188–191.
Siddaway, A. P., Wood, A. M., O'Carroll, R. E., & O'Connor, R. C. (2019). Characterizing self-injurious cognitions: Development and validation of the Suicide Attempt Beliefs Scale (SABS) and the Nonsuicidal Self-Injury Beliefs Scale (NSIBS). Psychological Assessment, 31(5), 592–608.
Turner, B. J., Cobb, R. J., Gratz, K. L., & Chapman, A. L. (2016). The role of interpersonal conflict and perceived social support in nonsuicidal self-injury in daily life. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 125(4), 588–598.
QUESTION
11
What are two ways in which cultural pressures can cause teens to self
injure? To select and enter your answer go to .
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